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While the well-liked mantra of "treat yourself" may lead you to believe that self-care is an indulgent money-spending spree, it does not have to cost you a penny (if you chose) and enhances your health, decisions, and day-to-day actions.
It is essential to ensure that you create the time for self-care, rather than when you have the time or simply treating yourself to something when you achieve a personal goal. Self-care is an essential component of preventing burnout, distress, and impairment, which is why we must change the narrative that it is an indulgence or something to partake in from time to time.
Self-care is not selfish to partake in, nor is it a waste of time.
The World Health Organization (WHO) defines self-care as:
“The ability of individuals, families and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and to cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a healthcare provider."
Further to this definition, the WHO acknowledges that self-care does not only include things such as hygiene, lifestyle, nutrition, socioeconomic factors, environmental factors, and self-medications. Instead, it also has an underlying core fundamental principle on the individual (e.g. self-reliance, empowerment, autonomy, personal responsibility, self-efficacy) and the greater community (e.g. community participation, community involvement, community empowerment).
Forms of self-care
There are three forms of self-care in which you can partake in:
Physical self-care - such as adopting a regular exercise routine, eating nourishing foods for your body, and adopting a sleep schedule that achieves at least 7 - 8 hours of rest each night.
Emotional self-care - this includes your self-talk, setting boundaries and learning to say "no" to things that cause you to stress, and maintaining relationships with family and friends, such as going on a coffee date with your friend.
Spiritual self-care - such as partaking in a spiritual practice, spending time in nature, meditating, and keeping a gratitude journal.
Categories of self-care
Temporary
Think of temporary self-care as fleeting moments. You will benefit from the social connection of getting coffee with a friend or taking a relaxing bubble bath, spending time in nature. However, the feeling only lasts about as long that you are partaking in that activity.
Enduring
While temporary self-care is fleeting, enduring self-care has long-term effects that you benefit from overtime, and I often refer to it as foundational self-care.
You can see and obtain long-term benefits of getting at least seven hours of sleep each night. Actively partaking in mindfulness can lead to changes in gray matter concentrations in the regions of the brain linked to emotion regulation, learning and memory, and self-referential processing*, for example. Just like focusing on changing your self-talk from negative to positive can create a healthy, long-term relationship with yourself.
And this is what I will be focusing on for the remainder of this article: foundational self-care.
So what do you think of when it comes to self-care?
For me, I instantly think of things that allow you to relax, such as taking a rest day from exercise, taking a bubble bath, indulging in sweet treats, reading a good book with a cup of tea, spending time in nature, and sometimes a bit of retail therapy. To me, it also means working out, eating healthy foods (at least most of the time), maintaining a budget, journaling, and rocking out to some good tunes. All of which is a combination of temporary and enduring self-care and have their place.
I will be honest and say that temporary forms of self-care can be far more appealing than enduring self-care. I mean, I would much rather prefer to have a hot cup of tea and relax or eat some sweets over choosing to work out. Further, there are times that I would much rather be far more productive and get things done in a day or let life stresses get in the way and compromise on sleep, which can turn into a vicious cycle. The amount of time that I hit 7.5 hours of sleep in a night is a rare occurrence. However, if you were to continually prioritize your immediate needs to make you feel better now, in reality, what you are doing, is sacrificing the foundational forms of self-care that would otherwise benefit you in the long term.
When we neglect vital areas of self-care, these temporary forms of relief only serve as a band-aid treatment and may result in negative repercussions over time and may sacrifice our longevity.
So what are some forms of foundational self-care that you want to be mindful of, anyway?
Taking care and managing your finances
Granted, this should be a skill set developed through the educational system at a young age; not knowing how to manage your finances can make or break the bank. It is far too easy to accumulate debt (whether on a credit card, student loans, car loans, etc.) and feel the crushing pressure of trying to make your way out of such debt.
One of the best things you can do for yourself is creating a budget that you review habitually (at least one to two times a month). You can create a budget on paper or by Excel, whichever you prefer. There are also plenty of templates that you can access for free online.
Essentially, you want to track your variable and fixed expenses (money going out) against what you have coming in. This will allow you to identify if you have money left at the end of the month or not. If not, it provides you with the opportunity to review your expenses and potentially identify areas where you can cut some bills. Moreover, ensure that you include a savings section in your budget for long-term goals regardless of how much you can save at the end of your pay period: every little bit adds up!
It is essential to form a habit of reviewing your budget, as it allows you to keep a close eye on your finances and ensure that you are not spending more money than what you are bringing in.
Bonus tip: for reoccurring expenses such as groceries or takeout, withdraw cash in advance for that specific period, as it is a great way to ensure that you do not overspend!
Dealing with trauma
I cannot stress enough the importance of working through traumatic events, as it can be challenging to find a feeling of safety after bad or painful things happen, which may leave you with upsetting and uncomfortable emotions.
The impact of traumatic events can affect your mental health, as your body's defences will take effect to create a stress response, which can cause a variety of physical or behavioural symptoms or an experience of more intense emotions. In some instances, these feelings can persist and may potentially lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or depression.
It is important to note that recovering from a traumatic event does take time and each individual recovers at their own pace. Symptoms of trauma will also gradually fade as you process the event (not to say that you will not be troubled from time to time).
For further information on dealing with trauma and recommendations on working through it, please refer to this link, which has a lot of information.
Taking care of your Fitness
Self-care does mean taking care of yourself physically.
Of course, this does not mean being in the best shape of your life around the clock, having six-pack abs, or being able to run a marathon. Instead, this could mean maintaining a level of fitness that allows you to live out your daily life with ease. Depending on your lifestyle, this could be as simple as achieving a certain amount of steps per day, biking, yoga, hiking, and light resistance training.
A perk to maintaining your fitness is that it allows you to enjoy any physical hobbies you may have, such as dancing, hiking, biking, walking, sports, especially as you age. Further, participating in such activities naturally promotes your physical wellbeing, and seeing that you enjoy it, means that it is feasible and something that you can remain committed to.
One thing you may want to keep in mind is partaking in some form of regular resistance training. I only say this as we do lose muscle over time which can lead to mobility and strength limitations. Therefore, practicing some foundational exercises such as squats, deadlifts, shoulder press, and chest press will engage your major muscle groups and allow you to maintain a functional level of fitness in daily life.
Taking care of your dietary health
I am not saying that you need to strictly focus on 100% quality, nutrient-dense whole foods when I do not even do that myself. After all, I do hit the chocolate train every night after dinner. However, there is no denying the numerous benefits that fruits, vegetables, unrefined carbs, and dietary fat offer.
One approach you can consider is to place a higher emphasis on nutrient-dense foods first, followed by indulgences. For myself, that means eating "healthy" food throughout the day, and when dinner hits, I always indulge in something sweet and chocolatey afterwards. I never skip out on my sweet treat after dinner. Moreover, because I know that I am pretty dang consistent with my diet, I do not fret when I take a day or a specific meal to fully indulge in "unhealthy" food.
I provide this example to illustrate that similar to fitness, your diet (way of eating) should be sustainable and maintainable for you. It is not about always being perfect or hitting the mark 100% of the time. It is also not about following a high-fat, low-fat, high-carb, keto, (you name it) diet, unless you enjoy that way of eating.
It is simply finding a way of eating that you can happily commit to that promotes your health in the long run. For me, allowing for indulgent food is a way of creating a sustainable dietary lifestyle.
I also understand that many folks may struggle with an eating disorder and as a society, by and large, we tend to demonize food in so many capacities, which only adds to the problem (just using the words healthy and unhealthy have a positive or negative connotation). If you are currently struggling to find a healthy relationship with food, you may find it beneficial to work with a professional.
I would also be beside myself if I did not note the following: While terms such as nutrient-dense, healthy, and clean eating are common buzz words, they do not mean that you have to buy organic, non-GMO food products. It can be as simple as sticking to conventional produce fresh, frozen, or canned.
Setting boundaries and open communication
I think that this is something that you start to learn later in life and wish I knew to do in my early twenties. The truth of the matter is, it is imperative to learn how to set boundaries in your personal and professional life.
Be mindful of your relationships and whether or not they are having a positive effect or if you consistently feel drained afterwards. After all, our interactions have a profound impact on our lives, negatively or positively.
If you notice that you find yourself consistently drained after an interaction with a specific person or group of people, take note. It is wise to set boundaries of where it is and with whom you spend your time. If you find interactions draining by those who are important to you, it may be beneficial to have an open dialogue to communicate how you feel, especially if there is something specific that is bothering you. Likewise, you can always create boundaries by creating distance or limiting the topics that you are willing to discuss with a given person.
Open communication can be an integral component to setting boundaries, especially if you are open to having a conversation with someone important to you, even if it is a vulnerable topic. Showing vulnerability and being open with someone is often a powerful way to strengthen relationships and create change. Further, setting boundaries can also be as simple as saying "no" or stating that you are uncomfortable with a specific topic.
Likewise, it is just as important to set boundaries in your professional life as well. In the workplace, setting boundaries could look like:
Not working past your regularly scheduled hours.
Not over-extending yourself by redirecting incoming requests if it is not within your designation to handle.
Not engaging in every interruption when someone is asking for your help. Instead, inform your co-worker that you will get back to them after you have finished your task at hand.
Turn off notifications so that you are not constantly distracted by email, which will allow you to be more focused on your work.
Not accepting every meeting invite. Reflect on the meeting topic at hand and evaluate if your presence is required and if you will add to the discussion at hand, and if you are still unsure, reach out to the event creator to see if your presence is needed.
Not taking work home with you: If you have a company cell phone or laptop, only use those devices during designated work hours and use your personal devices during your free time to limit the temptation to check email where you will mentally be sucked back into the vortex of work.
To summarize, I want to note that the topics listed above are not all-inclusive forms of foundational self-care, and there are many other forms in which one can partake, such as:
Sleep
Taking care of your mental health
Spending time in nature
Maintaining positive relationships
Dental hygiene
Wearing sunscreen
Getting vaccinated
Using barrier methods during sex
Community involvement
Meditation
Avoiding heavy alcohol consumption
Take dedicated breaks from electronics
Taking dedicated breaks from social media
Regularly reflect on what you are grateful for
It is essential to take care of yourself and build a solid foundation that allows you to thrive. While this post heavily focused on foundational forms of self-care, it is just as important not to neglect temporary self-care. Please, take care of yourself, be patient, caring, and understanding.
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